You guys. Let me explain something here. Clearly brevity is not my strong suit, so please bear with me. I have read comment upon comment; on website upon website; about how a person's life causes them consequences. That a lifestyle causes a set of consequences, or even just one; the ultimate consequence--that may at first seem unrelated but after all the pieces are placed just so, the picture is very clear. Crystal clear. I cannot count how many people I have read/heard/seen say that Farries is now paying the consequence for her lifestyle, which ultimately killed Allen Rose. She has been convicted and blamed for her "negligent lifestyle."
I have stated all along, for nearly one year now, that it is not justice in any form; not social justice, not legal justice, not theistic justice, or moral justice, to convict Detra Farries for the things that are unrelated to the approximately 1.4 mile route she drove that caused Allen Rose's death. All along, I have encountered resistance to this concept, even from my own significant other, saying eventually the consequences of your life catch up with you. Which unfortunately is true. However, it was the consequences of Allen Rose's life that caused him to pay the highest price, and consequence of Detra Farries's fertility, practice of not aborting babies, skin color, gender, and (almost unbelievably so but actually true), HAIR STYLE, that Allen Rose's lifestyle choices are being misplaces and projected onto her. In short, what I am saying is that all the things that Ms. Farries is being accused of being on the basis of her outsides, Allen Rose actually was on his inside.
Allen Rose is a felon. He has a felony menacing charge, and a child abuse charge, and his own wife testified against him. This is heartbreaking, to say the least. That Mrs. Rose had to be the victim of such abuse at the hands of her husband, that his child/children did at the hands of their father, and that now the Roses are victims again of a great loss. It is the most saddening and most helpless place, to be in the shoes of a true victim. Unfortunately, our society puts all the responsibility on the victim to somehow stop being victimized, rather on the victimizer to stop abusing. It is erroneous to the greatest degree to take someone's codependency, their own fatal flaw, and make them responsible for their own abuse. Trust me, victims WANT to be responsible. They welcome with open arms the ability to make their abusers stop hurting them. Unfortunately, they can't make anything stop. They can't beg enough, sacrifice enough, suffer enough, try enough, give enough; to make it within the scope of their to stop being hit, yelled at, threatened, tortured, abandoned, imprisoned, and thrown away... but it's not for lack of effort.
The saddest thing of all, in the case of The People vs Detra Farries, is that now Mrs. Rose will feel the survivor's guilt for the rest of her life of not being good enough to save Allen Rose. This is what happens when a codependent loses the one who they try to rescue, even if it means they suffer endlessly trying to do it. Even if it means they are tortured emotionally or physically. I know there have to be some victims of domestic abuse, victims of drug addiction, and victims of codependency reading this right now. Surely, they can be a testament to the horrible truth of being a victim. So sad, is that with Farries's conviction, Mrs. Rose will never now be able to get help in order to cope with her own torment. Her own sadness of the abuse she endured will now be lost in the attempt to convict Detra Farries. It is the best distraction but for the worst reason, and again the attention is shifted away from Mrs. Rose's constantly unmet needs; how she was probably constantly covering for her husband, just begging the world to step in. Begging silently after her words were met with slammed doors and holes in walls.... and still it's Mrs. Rose that is the victim again. Mrs. Rose who is now faced with the choice to either get help with dealing with the abuse; or act selflessly again, cover for Allen again, act like Allen was a saint again, and say again the words she's learned to live by "oh, ya, it's fine. I'll be ok. Thanks." How sad. If you know Mrs. Rose, if you see Mrs. Rose, if you think of Mrs. Rose, even if you don't like Mrs. Rose, please pray for her. Please tell her you know she's not ok, you know she needs help, you know that things were bad before they got worse, but if she works for it, they will get better. She will not want to hear this. She will want to protect her abuser. This is always the way it is, the abuser/victim cycle. Victims stay because they are driven by the hope of one day getting comfort from their tormentor. This will not happen, but it doesn't not mean she does not need comfort, even if she doesn't want it. Please hear the truth to this, and please allow it to call someone to action to help Mrs. Rose heal instead of hide. Help her tell the truth, instead of protect the memory of Allen Rose. For her, the memory of Allen Rose will be her torment if her pain is not validated.
Allen Rose slept with prostitutes. There, I said it. Legit prostitutes, tricks, hoodrats, hookers, whores... Those are the kind of prostitutes I'm talking about. Not like the colloquial "you hooker!," like you say to your friend when she eats the last bite of dessert you're supposed to be sharing, but like North Nevada, Prospect Lake, Union and Platte freakin hookers. You understand? Those tricks out there will find me, or I will find them, and they can't wait to come forward and tell the truth in a safe place outside of the presence of law enforcement and the fear that they will be locked up or hurt even worse. These girls know Allen Rose.... They know him biblically; they know him from the streets. They know him when he hits them, and beats the shit out of them. They know him when he uses crack and meth with them. They know him and every other John just like him... with a wife and kids at home who take the fall for his shortcomings. They know him, they know his money, they know his abuse, they know where he goes, they know he'll find them. They know even if he's gone and straightened up a bit and flying right for a few miles, he'll be back; they always come back. They always leave, but they always come back.
What does this have to do with the trial? Well, nothing. It has as much to do with the trial as the false allegations about Ms. Farries welfare skimming hoodrat life. It has as little to do with the trial as the weave everyone loves to hate. It has absolutely nothing to do with anything... unless you are one of the people of the mindset that it is our negligence, the consequences "en totale" of our lifestyle choices, that someone who is a drain on our society deserves to die. Kind of like what everyone is saying about Farries, that she is a drain on our society and everyone would love to fry her. Or that she is a hoodrat and professional welfare collector and thus deserves life in prison. That consequences reflect choices, and choices cause consequences. If you are of this mindset, then the person that Allen Rose was, the choices he made, the behaviors he had, the area of town he lived in, and people he hung out with.... then they mean EVERYTHING. What's fair is fair, right? A Rose by any other name would stink like hell.